Sometimes I feel like a pizza that has been thrown on the ground upside down.

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I’m jumbled, messed up, and look like a disaster.

As we were coming in tonight {or maybe it’s last night now since it’s 12 am} Brent was carrying our pizza, his drink, and his things while talking on the phone. Before I knew what was happening our hot, cheesy pizza  had landed upside down in the grass, thankfully it stayed in the box!

When we got settled inside I opened the box and saw the picture I posted. That pizza looked exactly like I felt. My life is kind of crazy right now. Living in someone else’s house, rummaging through cardboard boxes every day, appointments several days a week, trying to adjust to our new normal, raising toddlers, Thirty-One business, writing, being a wife, trying to figure out what my priorities are, and dealing with some stressful situations has me wiped out just typing it.

I like to think I can hide my mess a little bit better than that pizza could. When you look at me from the outside it seems like I’m holding it together pretty nicely. I’m no superwoman, but I can put on my happy face and make it through the day. But on the inside, I still feel like that pizza. There are times I want to fall apart. I get overwhelmed. I just want to hide under the covers and not be a grown up for one day.

In some strange fantasy world in my mind I believe I need to be mess free to be valuable. I need to not only look perfect from the outside but also feel perfect on the inside, plus have all my other responsibilities under control. Why on earth do I hold myself to these unattainable standards? I would never expect someone else to live the life I try to compare mine to.  Why is perfection so enticing?

For me, perfection=happiness=a lie the devil has sold me.

What lies have you bought from the devil? What unreasonable standards are you holding yourself to?

When I first opened that pizza box I laughed because it totally represented my day.  But then, God taught me a lesson. When I tasted that pizza, you couldn’t tell it had been thrown on the ground upside down.  It was still delicious, it still served its purpose, it had not lost value.

Yes, I may be a jumbled mess 95% of the time.  I may deal with some stressful situations, and perfection will always be out of my reach.  But, I do not lose value because of it, God will still fulfill his purpose through me, I can still be a light in a dark world. I’ve heard it said many times, our mess is our message. God can use this time in my life when I feel like a scrambled pile of junk to show me just how valuable I am to him, but not only that, he will use it for his glory! Amen!!

Upside down pizza does not equal garbage, messed up life does not equal worthless.

Abba Father, thank you for this stressful day. Thank you for the reminder that my mess doesn’t take away my value and for making my mess my message. Let each person that reads these words be reminded that mess or not they will always have worth in you.