I have noticed since becoming a stay-at-home-mom my “value meter” has been a little off.

I have begun to value myself based on the successes of my children, the appearance of my home, and the happiness of my husband.  When all of these things are doing great, I feel great. When my daughter plays nice with a stranger I feel proud, but when she is bossy to a little girl she just met I want to hide behind a tree (after I correct her of course). When my house is spotless {HAHA!} it makes me feel like an excellent homemaker, but when I can’t keep up with the laundry and the dishes I feel like a failure.  When my husband is happy and content at the end of the day I feel accomplished, but if he’s not I feel guilty and discouraged.

My value is tied up in these things. In my mind, at least. But the truth is these things are not in my control 100% of the time.  To base my value on things I can’t control is setting myself up for failure.

This week I’ve done a few things that have made me feel so good and they have reminded me that I need to be more conscious of where I find my value. Here are three practical things I have done this week.

1. Start a project. When you are losing yourself to your busy life, start something new. I know that sounds kind of crazy, add something else when you’re so busy, but it’s true. When you learn a new skill, perfect a hobby, or do something you’ve been meaning to do for years it does something for your confidence.  I have been painting my table and chairs this week. It has not been easy with 2 toddlers and it has taken a few days more than it might take others, but I’m so pleased with how it looks. I know I have done something that has brought value to my family, but ultimately it has reminded me that I am valuable. I have more to offer my family than meals and hugs.

2. Take care of yourself.  Sometimes I go more days than I care to admit without taking a shower. But it is honestly hard to find the time some days, or it’s less stressful to not take a shower than it is to make sure the girls aren’t getting into mischief while I’m showering. Eating healthy can go out the window, too, if you aren’t careful. I just want what is quick when I’m by myself with the girls. But this week, I have made an effort to make time to shower even if it means not picking up before the therapist comes over and I’ve been more conscious of what I eat. These things might be small to some but they boost my confidence because I know I’m running my life, my life is not running me.

3. Make time for yourself.  This one is still a work in progress but I’m getting better. I usually write after the girls go to bed, when I’m worn out from the day. But I want to start scheduling a couple hours a week to get out of the house by myself to write and focus on me. It’s selfish. But that’s ok. You are still a person too, and even though there are tiny humans and a husband at home that need you, they need you to be happier so do what will make you happier.

There are more things that I need to work on to get my “value meter” back in check but these three things have made a huge difference for me already.  Ultimately my value is not even in the things I do, or the things that make me happy, but being confident in myself helps me keep my focus on God the one who tells me my value.

Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. Matthew 10:31 

What do you do when your “value meter” is off balance?

2 thoughts on “When my “value meter” is off

  1. Norma McNeely

    Loved reading your blog. Yeah sometimes we can lose focus on what’s important in life. If we keep God the focus, things run much smoother. Your words were a blessing to my heart.

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