Camp was fantastic!! I’m pretty sure that I learned just as much as the students we took with us. I am always humbled and blessed that I get to spend my time with these “kids.” It is an honor to say the least. They are an extension of my family.

In case you haven’t noticed I like to write out of my struggle. I was told at a conference once that you shouldn’t do that because you haven’t fully processed your emotions, but that’s why I do it. If I think about it too much I’ll sort everything out and forget the struggle. I do write about my past some, but mostly my present.

So, while we were at camp I realized something that I had been feeling but had never acknowledged. While reading the gospel I sometimes struggle with the personality of Jesus. I am a very sarcastic person, to the point of taking it too far sometimes, so I tend to read Jesus’ remarks with those lenses. I find myself thinking that Jesus was sarcastic and maybe hurtful. How do you fall in love with a personality you don’t understand?

I was finding it very difficult. I was doing the work, reading, praying, serving, worshipping, but I couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t clicking. Why wasn’t I in love with Jesus? Because I didn’t understand him. I was looking at the gospel through my world, thinking that it had everything to do with me. In reality the Bible has nothing to do with me. Nothing in it changed because of me. I shouldn’t read the Bible to learn more about me, I should read it to learn more about God and Jesus.

I have started reading through John to help me understand Jesus more. Even in the past few days my perspective has changed. I no longer see Jesus as sarcastic, but rather stating facts. I can finally see those wonderful characteristics that people fall in love with. The speaker for camp last week said, “The devil uses the scriptures against you first.”  That’s what was happening to me! I knew what the Bible said, but the devil was helping me twist it into lies.

John 5:39-40 says You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life.

I read these verses and realized they were talking about me. I read the scriptures because I thought that’s how I would have salvation. I had the correct beliefs, and I trusted in Jesus, but I couldn’t see those “in love with Jesus” characteristics. I am thankful that God has begun to reveal those to me.

What characteristics about Jesus do you struggle with? When you talk about Jesus are you talking about someone you are in love with? If you are like me and have been struggling with this, read John. Get to know Jesus, fall in love with Jesus.

Heavenly Father, thank you for sending your son Jesus. Thank you for second, third, millionth chances to know you more. Help me to see Jesus for who he is. Help me fall in love with him. Amen.